10 DISGUSTING THINGS NEW PARENTS DO

10 DISGUSTING THINGS NEW PARENTS DO

I was feeding Evie her porridge just this morning & as I put the spoon in her mouth some porridge accidentally got on her cheek. I quickly wiped the porridge off her cheek & without thinking ate it. GROSS!!!!!!

I’m not actually sure if this was the first time either. It got me thinking about all the disgusting things we all do (whether you admit it or not) as parents. I’ve rounded up a list of ten but i’m sure that you can think of some more to add. So here it is. 10 DISGUSTING THINGS NEW PARENTS DO:

1. WIPING FOOD OFF BABIES FACE & EATING IT
I have a feeling I’m not the only parent that’s done this. Both myself & Jamie have admitted to it. At what point do our children gross us out?

2. WIPING SICK & SNOT WITH YOUR HAND
There have been so many moments that Evie’s chucked up or had snot running into her mouth & I’m nowhere near a cloth/tissue/wet wipe. It’s so much quicker to just use your hand. Then afterwards you realise that the sick or snot is now on your hand & you suddenly think ‘oh crap, now what?!’

3. WIPING SICK & SNOT FROM YOUR HAND ONTO YOUR CLOTHES
Of course, you now wipe your hand onto your clothes as if it never happened don’t you! 😉

4. SNIFFING THEIR BUM TO SEE IF THEY’VE POOED
This is probably the most popular disgusting thing that parents of babies do. There is a funky smell coming from somewhere. There is no point in completely undressing your baby to check is there? A quick whiff of her bum can solve any doubt. I’ve actually seen some parents so unsure, that they’ve buried their face right into the nappy. Yuck!

5. PICKING THEIR NOSE WITH YOUR FINGER
What’s worse is that I actually remember a time when Evie’s nose was too small to do this. We’d have to roll up tissue into a really small finger replica & use this to fish for her bogey’s. It’s so much quicker nowadays to just whip it out.

6. SIFTING A TOY OUT OF THE TOILET WITH YOUR HANDS
Probably the rarest of this list but I do know a few other mums who have done this. Recently Evie dropped her bedtime bear in the toilet. I literally didn’t know what to do & in a panic sifted it out. I washed my hands so much afterwards & was flapping around so grossed out.

7. LICK YOUR FINGER & THEN USE IT TO WIPE THEIR FACE
This is a classic among mums & dads. You see people doing it everywhere. It’s a failsafe way to get that unmovable peace of dirt off your little ones face.

8. EATEN FOOD THEY’VE SPAT OUT
Now this one is REALLY disgusting & not one I’ve done personally. But Jamie & another mum I know have admitted that they do this regularly. Three second rule! Gross!!!

9. GONE TO THE TOILET WITH THEM ON YOUR LAP
You’ve spent what seems like hours rocking your grumpy baby to sleep. You’ve been desperate for them to nap. But now you realise that you’re BUSTING to go to the toilet. What do you do? Putting them down runs the risk of them waking up. You need some time out & really don’t want them to wake up right now. You have no other choice. At least you have something funny to tell them when they’re older!

10. INVESTIGATED POO
You’ve opened the nappy to change your baby. What a weird colour? Should it smell like that? What are those lumpy bits? There have been times when we’ve not only had a good look at her poo, but we’ve called each other over to have a look too OR even discussed it with friends who have kids when we’re out with them for coffee/lunch/dinner. Yum!

11. BLAMING YOUR FARTS ON YOUR BABY
This one is an added extra by my partner Jamie. I have NEVER done this one but I’m sure there are many mums & dads that have. There have actually been times when Jamie has blamed Evie & I’ve assumed she’s pooed. So I’ve done the bum sniff & couldn’t smell anything, have fully undressed her only to find a clean nappy & a smirking Jamie.

Which ones can you relate with the most? 

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89 Comments

  1. What Mummy Did Next
    May 9, 2015 / 7:08 am

    Haha! Yup! I haven't actually fished a toy out of the toilet but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Number 11 must be a dad thing!x

    • Chloe
      May 9, 2015 / 2:11 pm

      No.11 definitely seems to be a dad thing. We always keep the lid shut nowadays because she's not strong enough to lift it. The one time someone (we had the argument about who did but never came up with a result) left it up & she took her chance haha. x

  2. Anonymous
    May 9, 2015 / 8:13 am

    I have done all of them. On a daily basis Justin is using Oliver to cover for his farts. You would think I could tell the difference but sometimes Olivers are so loud it's hard to tell who did it!

    • Chloe
      May 9, 2015 / 2:10 pm

      Haha I'm glad you do them too Vicky. With Jamie & Evie, they're both silent but deadly. Sometimes it's so hard to tell the smells apart. I love that Justin does it too! 😀

  3. pooprainbows.com
    May 10, 2015 / 8:43 am

    Um, yeah. Almost all of them. Some I do so regularly I don't even consider them gross anymore. Which is its own special kind of gross!

    #sundaystars

    • Chloe
      May 10, 2015 / 2:18 pm

      haha that's so true, most of these I do everyday & they're such a part of everyday now they're acceptable! Until I go & see my friends who don't have children & they look at me like I'm horrific when I sniff bums or clean faces with my fingers haha. x

  4. May 10, 2015 / 7:58 am

    Oh yes!
    I join you on the disgusting band wagon! And I'll add 'using a plastic knife to unwedge a giant toddler blockage from the toilet so that it will flush' to the list.
    Happens all the time! X
    #sundaystars

    • Chloe
      May 10, 2015 / 2:16 pm

      Yay welcome! Haha that's brilliant! We haven't had to do any unblocking yet luckily. 😀 xx

  5. Eat.Love.Live
    May 10, 2015 / 9:07 am

    Haha it certainly is different rules and standards when it's your own child. I'm guilty of many of these #sundaystars K x

    • Chloe
      May 10, 2015 / 2:21 pm

      Oh definitely! They're such a big part of you, they share DNA, they share blood, why not share germs too! 😀 It doesn't even feel like you're doing anything gross until a child-free friend goes EWWWW! xx

  6. Jeremy Barnes
    May 10, 2015 / 1:32 pm

    I think we've all done every single thing on this list. There is nothing too gross anymore after having a baby

    • Chloe
      May 10, 2015 / 2:22 pm

      That is so true. After you've both been through birth together, nothing is unspeakable 🙂 x

  7. Random Musings
    May 10, 2015 / 2:58 pm

    Brilliant post. I don't think there's a parent (or indeed anyone who's ever looked after a baby) that hasn't at some point done the bum sniff! #SundayStars
    Debbie
    http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

    • Chloe
      May 11, 2015 / 7:15 am

      Thank you so much. Weirdly, after giving birth, nothing disgusts us anymore! 🙂 x

  8. Mummy in Training
    May 10, 2015 / 3:18 pm

    Haha love this. I am guilty of a few!!! All the things you think you'd never do 😉 #sundaystars x

    • Chloe
      May 11, 2015 / 7:16 am

      I definitely never thought I'd be a lick finger/wipe face mum haha. xx

  9. Bethan Sian
    May 10, 2015 / 4:00 pm

    Haha I have done most of these! (not all though!) Great list!! x

    • Chloe
      May 11, 2015 / 7:16 am

      Thank you! I don't think we actually find them disgusting anymore haha. x

  10. Everything Mummy
    May 10, 2015 / 8:24 pm

    No.11 made me laugh my other half does this all the time!! and the bum sniffing, my older two have started doing this to their little sister now as well! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars

    • Chloe
      May 11, 2015 / 7:18 am

      No.11 really seems to be a complete dad thing at the moment. haha i think bum sniffing is such a reflex. We just can't help it! 😀 x

  11. LoveFromCluelessMum
    May 10, 2015 / 7:53 pm

    I've done quite a few of these already. I tend to do number 4 in public without realising how gross it is!

    • Chloe
      May 11, 2015 / 7:17 am

      I did it in a restaurant once when we were all eating without realising it's probably not the thing to do at the table haha. x

  12. Sarah Howe - Run Jump Scrap
    May 11, 2015 / 7:24 am

    haha I have done all apart from licking my finger and wiping the face and going to the loo with them on my knee! The fart one is a funny one haha! xx Great post!! #maternitymondays

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:45 am

      thank you! 😀 So many dads have admitted to the fart one haha. x

  13. Helen Gandy - Beautiful Things
    May 11, 2015 / 9:56 am

    Haha, oh yes and with 2nd it just gets worse!! Great post.

    Helen – #maternitymondays

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:46 am

      Thank you! 😀 Haha nothing disgusts you anymore when you've had children.x

  14. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)
    May 11, 2015 / 11:56 am

    No. 11 made me chuckle! Can definitely relate to a few items on this list, especially the bum sniffing – well it is the easiest way to find out if it's your baby that's done the poo! 🙂

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:48 am

      It saves so much time haha. I definitely did this while at a table in a plush restaurant once. It's such a normal thing to do for me I forgot that it might not be appropriate in that setting! But there's nothing more annoying than stripping down a wriggly baby to find a clean nappy. x

  15. Emily Vaughan
    May 11, 2015 / 12:01 pm

    It's so gross but so true isn't it, it's like becoming a parent we lose all sense of what's yucky haha. The last one made me laugh, that's exactly what my oh would do! Xx

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:48 am

      That's so true. After those first few weeks, nothing grosses you out anymore. That last one definitely does seem to be a dad thing! 😀 x

  16. Caroline Elliott
    May 11, 2015 / 12:27 pm

    hahaha great post very funny and oh so true! It is crazy how normal these disgusting things become when you are a parent isn't it? I remember wiping a handful of snot from Monkey's face and then trying to wipe it on the grass, which didn't work that well. ewwwww! Fab funny post, thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:50 am

      hahaha oh no I bet the grass all stuck to your hand! It's such a reflex now we don't think about what we're going to do with it after. After those first few weeks with a new baby, I don't think anything grosses you out anymore. 😀 x

  17. Claire Hall - Tin Box Traveller
    May 11, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    I've done all of these, with the exception of No. 11 – that's Mr Tin Box's territory 🙂 #MaternityMondays

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:51 am

      No.11 seems to be such a dad thing haha. They're so gross! 😀 x

  18. Love is Blind
    May 11, 2015 / 2:35 pm

    haha I love this had me laughing. I'm pretty sure we will end up doing some of these at some point. #maternitymondays

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:52 am

      Definitely. My sister is pregnant & doesn't believe she'll be like this. I'll be watching & waiting & I guarantee she'll tick this list off by Christmas! 😀 x

  19. Jenny Eaves
    May 11, 2015 / 6:49 pm

    Ha ha! Love this! My husband and I do most of these, except the eating spit up food! Shared on my Facebook page! 🙂 x

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:53 am

      Thank you so much for sharing! The only one that really grosses me out is eating spit up food. I've never done that one either, but my other half has regularly. Yuck! haha. x

  20. Belle du Brighton
    May 11, 2015 / 8:06 pm

    Yep, done more than half of these, icky!

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:54 am

      I don't think anything disgusts us anymore once we've had a baby! 😀 x

  21. Ali
    May 12, 2015 / 9:11 am

    Yep, done most of these. Can I include catching sick with your hands? #maternityMondays Ali @ Mum in a Nutshell

    • Chloe
      May 12, 2015 / 11:54 am

      That's such a good one! I've actually done that as well. Then freaked out because i didn't know what to do with it next! 🙂 xx

  22. Sarah H
    May 12, 2015 / 8:53 pm

    I've done a few of these, my worst has to be instead of wiping my child's snot with my hand I use the bottom of their t-shirt or something, it is usually grubby anyway! #maternitymondays

    • Chloe
      May 13, 2015 / 7:42 am

      haha the amount of times I've left the house in clothes that have sick or snot on. There is something about having a baby that makes nothing gross you out anymore. x

  23. Fiona Heavey
    May 13, 2015 / 9:07 pm

    Ha ha, great post because it is so true. Before I had a baby I think I would have almost puked at most of these, but now I just nod my head because they are the norm!

    • Chloe
      May 14, 2015 / 12:11 pm

      Nothing grosses us out anymore haha. I would never have dreamt of doing any of these pre-baby! 🙂 x

  24. Leslie Rickerby
    May 15, 2015 / 8:09 am

    One of my grossest moments with Dexter has to be that banana. He was eating a banana while we were out shopping and then decided to play with it so it turned to mush and went really warm and icky. Then he decided to give it to me so I held my hand out as he smushed it from his sweaty palm into mine. I then realised, I had absolutely nowhere to put it…. My only option was to eat it. I was almost sick, the texture was vile, it was warm and horrible but it was my only option. Never again!

    • Chloe
      May 16, 2015 / 6:26 am

      hahaha ewwww! It's so funny how our instinct is just to wipe things up quickly with our hands & then think 'oh no, now what!' You'll NEVER forget that haha. x

  25. Sons, Sand & Sauvignon
    May 15, 2015 / 8:25 am

    Haha! Brilliant post! I would say a bum sniff is at the top of the list with every parent on the planet! And such a normal thing to do, maybe its the animal instinct in us?! And picking their nose…I find this strangely satisfying! haha! 🙂 x

    • Chloe
      May 16, 2015 / 6:26 am

      It's so normal. Haha i must admit I got some ear wax out once when she was really little & it was really satisfying. Ewww! xx

  26. Baby Isabella
    May 15, 2015 / 9:33 am

    My mummy is guilty of No.2!!! 😉 Great Post #TheList

    • Chloe
      May 16, 2015 / 6:27 am

      haha thank you. I bet more will happen the older Isabella gets. x

  27. ApparentlyAwkward
    May 15, 2015 / 4:57 pm

    So many of these – I always thought I wouldn't be "that" mum sniffing a butt in the middle of a restaurant BUT YUP. I sure am! #thelist

    • Chloe
      May 16, 2015 / 6:27 am

      haha it's such instinct you can't help it! x

  28. Unhinged Mummy (aka Janine Woods)
    May 19, 2015 / 7:09 am

    Ha ha yes I have done many of these and more. The grossest thing I have done is fish my daughters poo out of the bath. She goes in the bath nearly everyday. That's a lot of fishing for poo. You'd think I'd have remembered to put a pair of gloves in the bathroom by now (she's 16 months and has done it since a tiny baby) but nope. I used to get her out the bath, wash the tub out and start again but not any more. Now I just quickly fish it out and we're grand.

    #twinklytuesday

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:44 pm

      Hahaha that made me laugh so much! Another of my friends has had to fish for poo! We're lucky we haven't had that yet. xx

  29. Natasha Mairs
    May 19, 2015 / 7:59 am

    Haha love this!! I think I have done all of them #TwinklyTuesday

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:44 pm

      Haha, nothing grosses us out anymore post-baby x

  30. Louise Rodgers
    May 19, 2015 / 10:03 am

    Lol! Yes I do EVERYTHING here!! Haha!

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:44 pm

      Haha it's nice to hear so many people do the same! x

  31. May 19, 2015 / 11:00 am

    Haha! This is great. I think I've done most of these, too. Quite shocking, really, when you think about it! x #TwinklyTuesday

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:45 pm

      I don't think anything grosses us out anymore post-baby 🙂 x

  32. Laura Powell-Corbett
    May 19, 2015 / 2:26 pm

    hahaha I love all of this so true and I am guilty. Nothing more satisfying than getting that bogey 🙂 #twinklytuesday

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:45 pm

      There really isn't! Sometimes I even get excited to see a big one poking out haha. EWWW! x

  33. snowingindoors
    May 19, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    All SO true!! I am forever forgetting hanky and wiping my kid's noses on my sleeve!

    • Chloe
      May 20, 2015 / 9:49 pm

      I wiped Evie's with my hand in the supermarket yesterday & instantly regretted it. An old man definitely stared at me in horror when I wiped it on my jeans. x

  34. Ashley Beolens
    May 19, 2015 / 8:14 pm

    I have never done any of these things and you all disgust me…. Sorry got to go the baby farted! 😉

    • Chloe
      May 20, 2015 / 9:49 pm

      hahahaha this had me in stitches xxx

  35. Caro Davies
    May 20, 2015 / 5:29 pm

    Haha! I've done a fair few of these… wiping not with my fingers is one of the things that I NEVER thought I'd do nut hey, needs must! If there is no tissue, fingers is it. Especially if I'm wearing a sleeveless top! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • Chloe
      May 20, 2015 / 9:50 pm

      Thank you for hosting! 🙂 Haha I didn't think I'd do half of these & merely a few weeks into having a newborn, I'd surprised myself at how little disgusted me anymore. xx

  36. Hannah
    May 21, 2015 / 7:17 am

    Oh my goodness, we are so gross aren't we?! I've definitely done them all without even thinking! Great Post 🙂
    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

    • Chloe
      May 21, 2015 / 7:22 pm

      Thank you. We're all so disgusting. Thank you so much for hosting such a great linky 😀 x

  37. Mamavsteacher
    June 8, 2015 / 8:42 am

    Amazing list – I’ve done all but blame him for my farts and eaten spat out food… when I’m hungry I do look at it and complete it but I’ve never actually been THAT hungry! #Mummymondays

    • June 9, 2015 / 5:29 pm

      hahaa. I think the farts one is definitely a dad one to be honest. Not many mums have come forward about that one yet. xx

  38. June 8, 2015 / 8:46 am

    Ha ha I love number 11!!! #mummymonday

  39. June 8, 2015 / 9:02 am

    Omg HAHAHA I’ve done them all lol… AND I’m 5 years a mammy and still doing quiet a handful of them. Try go the toilet pregnant with a one year old on your lap. Did it yesterday…

    • June 9, 2015 / 5:30 pm

      Haha it’s amazing how many people can relate to this! 😀 I don’t think we even find them gross anymore x

  40. June 8, 2015 / 9:14 am

    Hahaha so relatable! And guilty of having done quite a few on your list!! #mummymondays

    • June 9, 2015 / 5:30 pm

      haha I’m glad I’m not the only one that does all of these! 😀 x

  41. June 8, 2015 / 5:35 pm

    Ha oh no, I’ve done all of these too! Well either me or Mr M. It’s out of love though isn’t it? Or convenience! Mim x #mummymonday

    • June 9, 2015 / 4:44 pm

      Haha both I think! I don’t even think we consider them disgusting anymore. x

  42. June 8, 2015 / 9:10 pm

    oh my god..all of these. Defo do the wiping the so with my hand..it just annoys me and i ould rather that than a snotty child! Great post! x #mummymonday

  43. Rachel B
    July 9, 2015 / 9:02 am

    Both of my girls went through a stage of having a poo in the bath. After the millionth time, I just started scooping the brown lumps out with my hand. Pretty gross!!!

    • July 9, 2015 / 9:55 am

      haha so gross. But you don’t even think about it do you until you reflect after. 🙂 x

  44. Michelle Wallace
    July 13, 2015 / 9:22 pm

    I refuse to acknowledge doing any of this.

    • July 14, 2015 / 6:02 pm

      Haha 🙂 I was waiting for one person who doesn’t. x

  45. September 18, 2015 / 7:05 am

    Evie looks super adorable in her pink chef’s outfit! Such a cute little helper! 🙂 This recipe is definitely something I would try together with my little buddy! Looks so yummy! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • September 18, 2015 / 7:57 pm

      Thank you so much! It is so yummy and so easy to do x

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