Recently I was out shopping with my family, trying desperately to find some clothes to fit over my new ‘post baby’ body shape, when I overheard a conversation a couple of friends were having in the fitting rooms:
‘What shall we do after this? Do you want to go to dinner or just go home?’
‘Lets go for dinner & then do you want go out after?’
‘Yeah maybe, lets just see what happens.’
I was instantly hit with a pang of jealousy. Since having my daughter, making plans on a whim has been a rare luxury. This conversation made me really long for my old life. Has this ever happened to you?
I absolutely LOVE my daughter. I wouldn’t change having her for the world. If she’s gone from me for a few hours, I get desperate to see her happy little face & to have a cuddle. But there are times when I do ache for my old life. The thing I miss the most is the freedom. There are times when I think back to two years ago & I wish I could just hop back & relive one day where I went to the beach by myself or when I spent the day & night with my friends doing whatever we felt like in the moment.
So many mums & parents tell me that they can’t remember a time without their little one. Maybe it’s because Evie was unexpected, but I definitely can. I really miss how easy things used to be even though at the time I really didn’t realise it.
I miss being just me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life now. But that doesn’t stop me from becoming so jealous when I go & see my childless friends who are still in their pjs at midday because they’re having a lazy day. I get jealous that they can decide on a whim to wash their hair, to go out for dinner or to just do nothing! I definitely get jealous that they can go to the bathroom alone & can shower for as long as they like.
For me, getting dressed in the morning is a military operation. I have specifically 15 minutes (if I’m lucky) between my daughter getting up & my partner needing to go off to work where I can shower, get dressed, put on make up & sort out that ‘what the hell is that on your head?’ tangle that I seem to get overnight. If i miss this 15 minute window, it’s touch & go on if i’ll even bother making myself look acceptable.
I am so annoyed at my younger self! I definitely did not appreciate how easy I had it back then & how many opportunities I could have taken. If I could go back & speak to her, here are 10 things I’d tell my pre-baby self:
1. Enjoy the lie in. Seriously! Sleep, lie-ins, pj days…they will NOT exist soon.
2. Don’t you DARE say you’re bored. You won’t have the opportunity to be bored soon!
3. You’re not fat! Those jiggly bits you THINK you have don’t exist. Your body will be unrecognisable post-baby.
4. Make the most of time with your partner. Time will one day be precious!
5. Save money by paying yourself a little bit every month. You will thank yourself one day!
6. Get on a plane. Go anywhere! Travel as much as you can!
7. Stop stressing so much! You have no responsibility! Chill out!
8. Stop procrastinating & making excuses, just go for that job/have that holiday/make that leap!
9. Be more confident! Stop caring so much what people think. Love yourself!
10. Do more voluntary work & get more work experience. It will help you in your career when you need it! You have the time & opportunity now, take it!
I may miss my old life, but I have definitely learnt to be more grateful & to live in the moment. I know I am so lucky, because their is nothing more special than watching something that you created learn & grow. I take every opportunity to cross another off my bucket list & I worship the times I get a long shower or can go to the shop by myself. Having Evie has changed my life in more ways than I could imagine. Everything I thought I knew about parenting was wrong. It is so much more hectic & hard but unbelievably wonderful & rewarding! I definitely need to follow up this post with a 10 things I’d tell my pregnant self because she was more naive about being a parent than she realised!
What would you tell your younger self? Do you ever miss the pre-baby freedom?
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