10 THINGS I’D TELL MY PRE-BABY SELF!

10 THINGS I’D TELL MY PRE-BABY SELF!

Recently I was out shopping with my family, trying desperately to find some clothes to fit over my new ‘post baby’ body shape, when I overheard a conversation a couple of friends were having in the fitting rooms:

‘What shall we do after this? Do you want to go to dinner or just go home?’

‘Lets go for dinner & then do you want go out after?’

‘Yeah maybe, lets just see what happens.’

I was instantly hit with a pang of jealousy. Since having my daughter, making plans on a whim has been a rare luxury. This conversation made me really long for my old life. Has this ever happened to you?

I absolutely LOVE my daughter. I wouldn’t change having her for the world. If she’s gone from me for a few hours, I get desperate to see her happy little face & to have a cuddle. But there are times when I do ache for my old life. The thing I miss the most is the freedom. There are times when I think back to two years ago & I wish I could just hop back & relive one day where I went to the beach by myself or when I spent the day & night with my friends doing whatever we felt like in the moment.

So many mums & parents tell me that they can’t remember a time without their little one. Maybe it’s because Evie was unexpected, but I definitely can. I really miss how easy things used to be even though at the time I really didn’t realise it.

I miss being just me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life now. But that doesn’t stop me from becoming so jealous when I go & see my childless friends who are still in their pjs at midday because they’re having a lazy day. I get jealous that they can decide on a whim to wash their hair, to go out for dinner or to just do nothing! I definitely get jealous that they can go to the bathroom alone & can shower for as long as they like.

For me, getting dressed in the morning is a military operation. I have specifically 15 minutes (if I’m lucky) between my daughter getting up & my partner needing to go off to work where I can shower, get dressed, put on make up & sort out that ‘what the hell is that on your head?’ tangle that I seem to get overnight. If i miss this 15 minute window, it’s touch & go on if i’ll even bother making myself look acceptable.

I am so annoyed at my younger self! I definitely did not appreciate how easy I had it back then & how many opportunities I could have taken. If I could go back & speak to her, here are 10 things I’d tell my pre-baby self:

1. Enjoy the lie in. Seriously! Sleep, lie-ins, pj days…they will NOT exist soon.
2. Don’t you DARE say you’re bored. You won’t have the opportunity to be bored soon! 
3. You’re not fat! Those jiggly bits you THINK you have don’t exist. Your body will be unrecognisable post-baby.
4. Make the most of time with your partner. Time will one day be precious!
5. Save money by paying yourself a little bit every month. You will thank yourself one day!
6. Get on a plane. Go anywhere! Travel as much as you can!
7. Stop stressing so much! You have no responsibility! Chill out!
8. Stop procrastinating & making excuses, just go for that job/have that holiday/make that leap!
9. Be more confident! Stop caring so much what people think. Love yourself!
10. Do more voluntary work & get more work experience. It will help you in your career when you need it! You have the time & opportunity now, take it!

I may miss my old life, but I have definitely learnt to be more grateful & to live in the moment. I know I am so lucky, because their is nothing more special than watching something that you created learn & grow. I take every opportunity to cross another off my bucket list & I worship the times I get a long shower or can go to the shop by myself. Having Evie has changed my life in more ways than I could imagine. Everything I thought I knew about parenting was wrong. It is so much more hectic & hard but unbelievably wonderful & rewarding! I definitely need to follow up this post with a 10 things I’d tell my pregnant self because she was more naive about being a parent than she realised!

What would you tell your younger self? Do you ever miss the pre-baby freedom?

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12 Comments

  1. Emma
    May 2, 2015 / 7:12 am

    I think my list would be the same as yours – enjoy the freedom, save more, spend time with my partner, travel… But like you I wouldn't be without my little girl. I was feeling really jealous of some of my childless friends recently and then one day one of them said how much she envied that I was a mother. I guess we all look at only the best bits of what other people have and want them.

    • Chloe
      May 3, 2015 / 9:59 am

      That is so true. The grass isn't always greener on the other side 🙂

  2. Natalie Knight
    May 19, 2015 / 8:51 am

    I'm slightly different in that I LONGED for my children before having them and my entire life was planned around having them. I wouldn't change having them, but I'd like to have realized how much time and responsibility comes with them as I definitely would have crossed a few more things from my bucket list.
    Luckily for me my husband and I turn 26 this year, we have 2 children (almost 3 and 1) a new puppy and we are complete. We have plans to get a transporter to take everyone camping and help our babies create their bucket list.
    I love your blog and I'll be sure to stop by soon!
    Natalie x

    • Chloe
      May 19, 2015 / 3:49 pm

      My daughter was so unexpected, I wish I'd had that exciting 'planning for a baby' stage (maybe next time! :-D). It is frightening how much time & responsibility comes with them, but they are so rewarding. I love my daughter so much & everyday feel so lucky to have her. I must admit, her heart melting smiles beat having a lie-ins!

      That sounds like such a lovely plan. I'm sure they're going to absolutely love camping & it's such a nice thing to get them to create bucket lists. I think bucket lists are so important because they remind you to have fun, to go & see things & to enjoy life even when things get hectic! 😀

      xxx

  3. Determined Housewife
    June 5, 2015 / 9:24 am

    Aah, all the problems we thought we had pre-baby! You are so right… But, as you said there’s no way we’d change where we are in our lives now. I think every one is different, I sometimes miss my pre-baby life too (well, some aspects) but now I am so much more grateful for my ‘me-time’ when I am lucky enough to get it!!

    • June 6, 2015 / 10:40 pm

      It’s crazy how naive we we’re haha. I remember I used to complain I was tired! Pffft! I didn’t know what tired was! I do agree though, I’m so grateful for my daughter and my life now. She’s made me a much better person and really changed my life focus. It’s mad how much they take over your life but in such a positive way x

  4. LittleOandme
    June 5, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    I love this post!! I couldn’t agree more, I would tell myself the same things especially the travel more, also I wish I had gone to a festival!
    Popping over from the #TheList
    Becky xx

    • June 7, 2015 / 2:27 pm

      Luckily they’re not little for ever so we still have time to do these things 😀 I am determined to still go travelling at some point. x

  5. June 7, 2015 / 12:20 pm

    Wise words 🙂 I took much longer than you to get round to having kids and my son was very much planned but I still have days when I really miss pre-baby freedom! My husband and I moved from London to Devon not long before we had him and people often ask whether I miss the city. Sometimes I think I do but then I realise that if I was stuck there now life would be so much tougher… There’s definitely lots about living in the South West that makes life with a little person easier I reckon! x

    • June 7, 2015 / 2:38 pm

      I completely agree. The South West is amazing for bringing up children. The city is so much faster paced & there are more things to do, but there is so much to explore & so much freedom in the country for little ones. 😀 X

  6. June 8, 2015 / 2:22 pm

    You are so right! It’s the freedom you just can’t have with kids. I miss going to town every Sat with my mates to choose a new outfit to wear out clubbing then going back & getting ready together! I really want to be 19 again. I do appreciate the rare quiet times so much though! Lizzie XO

    • June 9, 2015 / 4:47 pm

      I definitely wouldn’t change having Evie for the world, but I do miss just lying quietly on a beach & deciding on a whim to meet friends or go out to dinner. And yes, I miss the getting ready too! 😀 x

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