10 THINGS I’D TELL MY PREGNANT SELF

10 THINGS I’D TELL MY PREGNANT SELF

When I was pregnant I really had no idea about what it would be like to have a baby. Although at the time, I thought that I knew everything. I’ve got three younger brothers and sisters so I thought I was really experienced and would give many first time mums a run for their money.

I was one of those annoying pregnant women who watched ‘One Born Every Minute’ and mocked how overdramatic the women were. ‘There is no way you need to make noises like that.’ I used to regularly chirp. ‘I doubt it’s that painful. So many women have more than one child, it can’t be that bad.’ 

10 THINGS I'D TELL MY PREGNANT SELFYes I know I’m making all of you mums rage. Believe me if I could slap that old self in the face with a fish, I really would.

I was constantly cleaning, tidying & organising my house ready for my little one (because she’s really going to be able to comment on how dusty it is). When instead I should have been resting and making the most of the time I had to myself.

I was cocky and prepared with all of the baby essentials that you would ever need. Only never having a baby before I actually barely had anything. No cotton wool, no nappy rash cream, no nipple pads or cream, the list could go on. I was also naive enough to think that as soon as my daughter came out I’d be able to go to the gym and work out. In reality, I struggled to find the energy to even make myself a cup of tea.

The first day we bought Evie home, it dawned on us that we had no idea what to do. I couldn’t remember how to change a nappy. What do you use? How do you wrap her up for bed? How many layers should she have? What temperature should the room be? We ended up you-tubing ‘How to swaddle a baby!’ before tearfully calling my mum to come over and help us.

Oh how naive I was! Here are 10 things I would tell my pregnant self:

1. Everything you think you know about being a parent is wrong. After your baby is born, all it will do for the first few weeks is cry, poo, eat and sleep. Listen in antenatal classes. Visit friends with babies. Read books. Do everything that you can to prepare yourself for life with a baby.

2.  Have a lie in. You are about to experience exhaustion like you’ve never felt before. Stop being so busy on your maternity leave. Chill out and make the most of you time.

3. Enjoy walking around by yourself, doing the food shopping by yourself, going to the bathroom by yourself, showering by yourself. In a years time you’ll have a little one trying to clamber up on your lap as you pee and you will have to sing ‘Wheels On The Bus’ on loop in the supermarket so that your baby doesn’t cry.

4. Breastfeeding is really hard. It might be the most natural thing in the world, but that doesn’t make it easy. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Ask for help and for goodness sake use nipple cream. Trying to breast feed through sore, chapped, bleeding boobs is more painful than giving birth.

5. Don’t forget to be affectionate towards your partner. Yes, you’ll be too exhausted to even lean across to him and you may even feel resentment towards him (damn hormones), but he is going to feel replaced by your baby and needs your attention too. There will be times in those first few weeks when your hormones will make you despise him. Be patient. I promise that your love for him will come back tenfold.

6. Please have a duvet day. This will be your last one for possibly years. Get some DVDs, get your partner to have the day off, shut the curtains, put on some films and chill out. Enjoy your time together while you’re still a twosome.

7. Talk to someone if you’re feeling emotional. No one will judge you. Don’t sit on those feelings and think that you’re a bad person. Your hormones could take weeks/months to settle down. It is completely normal to feel the baby blues. You’re not supposed to enjoy every moment. No one said it would be easy.

8. If someone offers you help, take it. Don’t be a martyr. They’ve offered to cook you dinner and to let you go & shower. Accepting that help and having a break really refreshes you. Always say yes.

9. Don’t go on maternity leave early. You will be so bored and restless. There really is no need to have a month off. Two weeks at most, but by weeks three you’ll be chomping at the door and become a nag to all of those who still have a day job.

10. You will be going overdue. Don’t rush things! Make the most of that extra nights sleep. Enjoy having her attached to you while you can. Soon she’ll be running free and you’ll wish you could still protect her like this.

Can you resonate with this? What would you tell your pregnant self?

If you liked this you’ll probably like ’10 things I’d tell my pre-baby self’. It is VERY different despite the similar title. Luckily my pre-baby self wasn’t as much as a stubborn git as my pregnant self was.

If you are a mama already and you’re feeling like you’re a bit overwhelmed, be sure to read my ‘5 reasons to join a baby group‘ or ‘10 minute break for busy mums‘ to help you feel a bit more on top of things.

This post is linked with…
Mami 2 FiveMaternityMondaysYou Baby Me Mummy

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24 Comments

  1. September 6, 2015 / 10:04 am

    This is such good advice! I thought I was completely ready for a baby, I felt like I knew way more than all the other mums in my antenatal class but oh how wrong I was! Great post! xx #sundaystars

    • September 7, 2015 / 10:31 am

      Back again from #MaternityMondays! 🙂 x

    • September 7, 2015 / 8:09 pm

      Thank you so much Cajsa. 🙂 It’s funny isn’t it, you think you know what it’s like to have one but you really can’t comprehend. Being a mum is completely crazy and we’re learning new things everyday. Although it can be hard, I wouldn’t change being a mum for the world. 🙂 x

  2. September 7, 2015 / 8:02 am

    I had heard some of these things before from others so I tried really hard – on maternity leave I never was bored. Always chilled, watched films, painted my nails etc. I slept tonnes when I pregnant too! YOu have to as your life does a 180! Great post though lovely. Really real! xx #maternitymondays

    • September 8, 2015 / 5:51 pm

      I’m so glad you were told beforehand! I bet you feel so thankful now that you took that time then. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. x

  3. September 7, 2015 / 8:51 am

    I wish I’d had more duvet days! I never thought I would consider a trip to the supermarket on my own as a luxury. I dream of being able to roam around the aisles at a leisurely pace- rather than grabbing groceries at Olympian pace and passing snacks to my little one to keep her occupied… Wouldn’t change it though 🙂

    • September 8, 2015 / 5:53 pm

      hahaha I can completely relate to your shopping experience!! But you’re right, I wouldn’t change it either. On the rare occasion I do get to shop alone, I relish the moment and take my time but always end up doing something like humming twinkly little stars as I’m waiting at the checkout. x

  4. September 7, 2015 / 12:38 pm

    I love these! Especially 1 and 6. One I would have given myself is “Don’t waste time and worry trying to be perfect, just relax and trust that you will do the best job you can, and that will be more than enough.”

    #maternitymondays

    • September 8, 2015 / 5:56 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment. That’s such good advice!!! I wish I’d heard that too. x

  5. September 7, 2015 / 7:10 pm

    I totally agree. I wish I could have a duvet day now. I did finish earlier with number 2 because I was so exhausted looking after number one so I think the early mat leave may only be true with baby number 1. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I would enjoy eating a meal without having to feed someone else or get juice etc 😉

    • September 8, 2015 / 6:03 pm

      That’s a brilliant one to add, enjoying a meal! Especially a hot dinner! Or a hot cup of tea. I am in so much admiration of parents with more than one child! 🙂 I can’t imagine how much more difficult it is. But doubly rewarding i’m sure. 🙂 x

  6. September 8, 2015 / 9:24 pm

    I was signed off on the sick at 12 weeks during my first pregnancy (with twins) but I was so tired and sick I pretty much had duvet days every day and slept through the majority of the early months! Thanks for linking up with #sundaystars x

    • September 10, 2015 / 6:15 pm

      I’d say you were lucky to get some sleep, but that must have been horrible to be that poorly and tired!!!! I’m glad you came through the other side ok. x

  7. September 11, 2015 / 7:32 am

    agree with it all – particularly taking a nap and breastfeeding. I would have older women tell me how much they missed breastfeeding and I just naively presumed it was the easiest thing in the world! #thelist

    • September 12, 2015 / 1:14 pm

      Oh me too, I thought it was so easy by the way people made out. It’s scary just how difficult it is until you get the hang of it. x

  8. K@ Eat.Love.Live
    September 11, 2015 / 3:40 pm

    You hit the nail on the head and I agree with ever single one of your points. Great advice for a FTM x #thelist

    • September 13, 2015 / 8:19 pm

      Thank you so much. 😀 I’m glad that it can resonate with others. x

  9. September 11, 2015 / 9:26 pm

    These are spot on. Especially the whole part about sleeping, and doing things by yourself! Sharing your attention with your partner is so hard to do when you’re exhausted, stressed and feeling a bit out of your depth (I was a first time mum!), so I strongly agree with you there! Ray xx #TheList

    • September 13, 2015 / 8:21 pm

      Thank you so much Ray. It’s incredible how out of your depth you can feel isn’t it? And you don’t realise how much your partner can take a backseat initially post baby and just how much a baby can change your feelings towards each other and everything. x

  10. September 18, 2015 / 10:55 am

    This is so true Chloe!! All the things that we think we can do before we actually have our kids. We are definitely very naive!! Great advice!! 🙂 x
    #TheList

    • September 18, 2015 / 7:59 pm

      Thank you so much Franca. We are so naive aren’t we! But it’s a wonderful journey to be on x

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