How much one on one time do you spend with your partner now you’ve had kids? Do you find it really hard to find the time, the money or a babysitter so that you can actually have a proper date night?
We find it so hard! Aitan and I spend so much time working, dealing with house stuff and running around after Evie, that we barely find the time for us as a couple. Who else feels this way? It turns out we are not alone in this either. According to an independent study by Legal & General;
- 36% of parent couples aged 18-44 spend quality time together only once or twice a week.
How low is that figure? It’s not even because we don’t want to spend that time together either. In fact;
- 67% of those surveyed agreed that date nights are really important for their relationship, but cost, tiredness and difficulty finding childcare get in the way
- 39% of parents find it tricky to come up with ideas for a date night
I can definitely relate to all of that. But, how can we ‘date each other’ when we still have money, time and babysitter issues? This is something Aitan and I are all the more conscious of sorting out now we also have another baby on the way.
Legal and General have come up with a really fun way for couples to connect when they can’t go on a proper date: micro-dating.
What Is Micro-Dating?
Put really simply, micro-dating is noticing those moments that already exist in your relationship, but looking for opportunities to reframe them and make them that little bit more special. We’ve just started trying to do this in our relationship and it’s making such a huge difference to how close we feel to each other.
Micro-dating doesn’t have to be drastic either. It’s as simple as moving your dinner from the table and turning it into a romantic floor picnic. Or, changing up your daily shower for a couples bath. It’s these tiny little moments and gestures that will, overtime, end up making a huge difference to you both as a couple.
If you need some inspiration of how to micro-date your partner, here are some of our favourite ideas…
10 Ways You Can Micro-Date Your Partner After Kids
All of these ideas simply come from reframing everyday moments you might already share at home.
1. 5 Minute Massage
Before you roll out of bed in the morning, while you are sat watching TV, or whenever you see a moment, take a few minutes to give each other a mini massage. It’s amazing how this extra bit of contact can make you feel more connected.
2. Have A ‘Task Off’
Do you always get really fed up of doing housework? Try and make chores less mundane and turn them into a micro-date. Does the kitchen need cleaning? Do it together! Does the washing need putting away? Get a pile each and have a race to see who can put it away first. We’ve tried the washing race this weekend and ended up in fits of giggles. Who would have thought that a pile of laundry would make us feel more like a couple again?
3. Cook Dinner Together
In our house, one or the other of us usually cooks dinner and nowadays it’s always seen as a chore. This week though we’re going to take one of our typical family dinners and have a cook off. We have some fun ideas to make this micro-date a weekly thing. Our ideas include making a homemade pizza together, doing a themed dinner night (3 course Mexican anyone?) or having a dessert off!
4. Challenge Each Other To Your Kids Games
Are the kids tucked up in bed or distracted with something else? Why not pull out their games and compete against each other? If their games are too babyish though, get some fun ‘couple inspired’ trivia games or even some old school video games and have regular challenge nights. We got some ‘couple trivia’ games this week that we can pull out and do when we have a spare five minutes.
5. Trade The Dinner Table For A Picnic On The Carpet
Why not have dinner after the kids go to bed for a change? A fun way to make this more romantic is to swap the dinner table and have a picnic on the carpet instead. Don’t forget the blankets, cushions and candles!
6. Face Time Each Other In Lunch Breaks
Do you both work outside the house? If you do, do you find that when you’re home you barely have time for a conversation? You could try face timing each other during your lunch breaks and use it as ‘micro-date’. But, your challenge is to talk about anything but the house, kids and work! If you are stuck for conversation ideas, try doing a’ quick fire’ fun question challenge. e.g. would you ever…, or where are 5 places you most want to visit etc.
7. Turn Bath Time Into ‘Spa Time’
One of our favourite go to ‘micro-dates’ is treating ourselves to bath time together once Evie’s in bed. We make it more romantic by lighting some candles, adding a bath bomb and by putting on face masks!
8. Coffee And Cake While The Kids Play
If you’re having a really hectic week and you just can’t get any time together, why not take the kids to soft play or an adventure park and while they’re running off having fun sit down together and enjoy a coffee and a cake. Again, try not to revolve your conversation around the kids, house or work.
9 Have A Camp Out
Instead of curling up on the sofa and watching TV, why not build a fort in your living room or put up your family tent and have a camp out. You could even do this while you watch a film. If you’re feeling more adventurous you could even have a camp out in the garden!
10. Read To Each Other A Chapter Each Of A Book
One thing I try and do every night is read before bed. It helps me to wind down before I sleep. Usually Aitan just lies there waiting for me to finish, so he can turn out the light. Recently though, I’ve used this as an opportunity for a micro-date. We now take it in turns reading pages of my book out loud and we usually try and make it even more fun to by adding funny accents!
- Related post – 24 24 Books To Read In 2018
So, those were my 10 ways to micro-date your partner and thank you to Legal & General for the fab idea!
Is micro-dating something you want to try? Which of these ideas is your favourite? Do you have any more fun suggestions? I’d love you to let me know in the comments below.