So you’re dating a chef? Or you know a chef? Whatever brought you to this page prepare to either be enlightened, or find someone in exactly the same boat as you.

Lots of people in society think that being a chef is a glamorous job. Celebrity chefs have given a slightly wrong impression of what it’s like to be a chef. They make it seem like they have a lifestyle where they’re out eating most nights, or they have time to make you amazing food all the time.

The amount of people that say to me;

‘Oh wow, you’re dating a chef! You’re so lucky, I bet you eat great food all the time.’

Unfortunately, the food I eat is mostly food I’ve cooked myself and I’m not going to lie, being in the kitchen is not my strong point.

I’ve been dating a chef for a few years now. Every week I dread to see his rota and how little family time we’ll have with him. I grew up with a parent as a chef so you’d think that I would’ve learnt that it’s not the best profession to have if you have a family.

If you’re dating a chef yourself, you’ll know that it’s no easy job. I have rounded up a few facts that you can laugh at, cry at and most definitely relate to, and at the end of it, at least you’ll know that you’re not alone!

Please feel free to add to this list in the comments below. This list is by no means meant to be negative, just a round up of fun, relatable facts.

What do you think of this list? If you’re a chef spouse I have a feeling you may had nodded along to a fair few of these.

As a family, we do sometimes struggle with number one the most. ‘You will be alone A LOT!’

We have a little daughter and I always worry that Jamie’s not home enough with her. So we decided to add a little humour to our situation. Introducing Chef Mush, our daughters daddy replacement:

Last summer when Jamie was working, we went and made this little chef dog in St. Ives, in a cute little shop called ‘The Wonderful Bear Factory‘.

He sits by our daughters and at night time she  she always waves to him and cuddles him as she goes past. So cute!

We’re hoping that when she gets older, if she’s missing her dad, that the dog will be a really nice cuddly reminder of him. There are times when I’m so worried about just how much he is missing out on as Evie is growing up so fast. But Evie loves to FaceTime him if he does get a break and I know they’ll always have such an unbreakable bond.

Whether you’ve accepted the fact that your partner works a lot or not, and whether you can handle having cupboards of ingredients that you have no use for, there is one thing we all have in common.

We love them to pieces.

Are you a chef or in a relationship with a chef? what do you think of this list? What would you add to it or takeaway?



  1. Unexpectant Mother
    March 30, 2015 / 8:20 pm

    As someone who had a career in hospitality I can affirm this is all so true! Luckily my OH used to work in hospitality so we are both very undetstanding – however hospitality is so incompatible with family that I gave up work. I loved it though, it's an industry of passion and commitment so it's either 100% or nothing and you meet so many people with so much passion.

    OH now works in AV and my list for dating a 'soundy' would be similar to your chef one. So I feel your pain, but just think how cool your LO will feel when her Daddy whips up some awesome food for her friends and they go home to tell their parents how much better her Daddy is! Lol x

    • Chloe
      April 1, 2015 / 8:36 pm

      I worked in hospitality for years before I went on maternity leave. I think it's the only reason I am so patient & understanding with Jamie's work. But you're right, it is so incompatible with family. All of the chefs & waiting staff he works with that have their own families also find it so hard. But it is definitely an industry run on passion & adrenaline. He loves his job, it's the only reason I'm not begging him to leave & spend more time with us.

      She is already pretty spoilt with his home cooked purees. He begs me to let him make her batches of food every month so he feels like he's contributing to her. They are so delicious it's hard not to have a spoon or two myself!

      I hope you & your OH get to find that family/work balance soon too! They grow up so fast it's so horrible that they're missing out on all the good bits!


  2. Ceri Gillett
    April 1, 2015 / 1:44 pm

    Oh I have one at home. Currently expecting my first child. I'm fully geared up for the fact it will be difficult and MORE because James has the business to work out, I've done lots of pre-prep but it is difficult, mainly due to other people being unable to understand how it works. I've had lots of well meaning 'oh he will change once the baby arrives'.. ha ha. people will still want to dine out on friday saturday nights. We do joke that the baby needs to come late sunday early monday morning as we are fully booked for weddings in the summer 🙂 x

    • Chloe
      April 1, 2015 / 8:53 pm

      Haha oh no! Hopefully it's a monday morning arrival! I don't think people can every really understand unless they're in the same industry. They really won't get why he has to go for so long. So many people said to me 'oh he will change once the baby arrives' but the nature of the job will never allow it. I'm not going to lie, I did go through a phase of feeling bitter & resentful when he was missing out on so many milestones. It took me ages to stop & think that I had known way before Evie was born, that that's what his job entailed. Unluckily for us, Evie was born two weeks before the Easter holidays last year. His two week paternity leave ended the first day of the Easter holidays. I thought he'd get some leeway but he did two 80 hour weeks back to back. It was so awful being alone with a new baby when you had expectations of being part of a close knit family & even worse having him coming home tired & technically needing more sleep than me because he's around sharp objects & fire all day. But you really do get used to it & it has gotten so much easier as Evie's gotten older. If you live in a seasonal place like us you won't be able to wait for winter when you can spend more time as a family! 🙂 The bonus is, when they do have days off, they're on quiet days so you can usually go out & not be surrounded by tons of people! 🙂 I hope your baby doesn't come during the prep for a wedding! That would not be fun! 🙂 xx

  3. Fern
    May 7, 2015 / 8:18 am

    My ex is a chef and I could not agree more with most of them! I was a waitress before having the girls so I know what its like as I often had to work very long days with only an hour between shifts, especially when I was waitressing in 2 different restaurants one during the day then another at night. It was madness, I'd love to go back to waitressing though! however I would never see my girls.

    • Chloe
      May 7, 2015 / 7:22 pm

      It is such long days isn't it! Wow you must have been exhausted going from one to the other, but probably good that you had a change of scenery! I think it is must be one of the toughest industries to have a family in. x

  4. May 31, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    I’ve been married to a chef for 19 years and that sounds about right! Funny how so many of us can relate to this all over the world! 🙂

    • May 31, 2015 / 8:57 pm

      It really is nice to know that I’m not alone & that other people can relate despite where you live! 😀 It is so darn difficult being in a relationship with a busy chef & so many people don’t realise how intense their jobs are. I have so much admiration & respect for the hours that they put into their craft. 🙂 But I do miss him when he’s doing long days. 🙂 It is really reassuring to hear that you’ve been together for 19 years! WOW! Congratulations! 😀 xx

  5. August 16, 2015 / 12:47 pm

    WOw all this time I used to think having a chef partner meant amazing meals on the table every single night that you didn’t have to cook! 🙂

    • August 16, 2015 / 4:48 pm

      Oh i wish! We barely see Jamie at all and when he is home he’s too tired to cook. It’s so hard. But he does love his job so that’s all that matters. xx

  6. Sheldon Nesdale
    February 29, 2016 / 3:17 pm

    Your boyfriend quickly becomes the go-to reference guide for all things catering for your friends and family 🙂

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