IT’S OK TO SAY NO

IT’S OK TO SAY NO

I’m sitting here right now in my beautiful little AirBnb in Barcelona. I’m supposed to be working right now and not writing this post, so it might end up being just a load of waffle. But on the off chance that it might help a few, here goes.

Do you ever struggle to say no?

It's Ok To Say No

So many of us are juggling full time work, alongside our families, our houses and our friends. We all crave extra hours in the day and a little more ‘me time’.

The pressure is on and can sometimes feel overwhelming. There are days, weeks, months that we are so stretched to our limits trying to fit everything in. Whether it’s deadlines, commuting, the school run, the food shop, another birthday coming up and maintaining relationships with friends, partners or families. It’s all sometimes a little too much!

Once in a while, we all just need to learn to say ‘no’ a little bit more.

Perhaps we can’t, because we’re too polite, we’re too stubborn, we’re too driven, and maybe just a little too scared.

Life can be pretty full on with full-time work and toddlers at your feet. Do you feel this way at times too?

I’m a full time freelance social media manager, writer and blogger. One week it feels manageable. I feel like things are getting done and that I’m on top of my game…

The next week I feel like I’m drowning in deadlines, that I’m not spending enough time with my daughter, that my relationships are strained. What can I do to lower my payload?

I absolutely love my job, don’t get me wrong. My job is my dream job. I am so appreciative and grateful everyday, that I get to wake up and do what I love. I also want to make both my blog and my freelancing career the best that it can be and I want to keep moving up.

But, I struggle to say no. I struggle to say no to opportunities. I struggle to say no to my friends, when they ask me to do something. I struggle to say no to my daughter for five minutes, so I can do some work.

Afraid Of Saying No

I am afraid of saying no. I’m afraid of hurting peoples feelings and I’m afraid that those work opportunities will dwindle, that the e-mails will stop falling into my inbox, that the work will dry up.

That’s why right now, at 9pm in the evening, instead of being out and enjoying my first night on holiday in Barcelona, eating tapas and drinking red wine, I’m sat in on my laptop.

I’m checking my e-mails. I’m making my plan for the week. I’m juggling my opportunities, so that I can still work, whilst attempting to enjoy a week in the Spanish sun.

When Do You Say No?

But, something my beautiful partner in crime has been trying to get across to me lately, is that I take too much on.

I end up in a complete stress rage, pretty much once a week, because I can’t cope with my work load, alongside my toddler and everything else.

Does this sound like you?

That’s not even including the fact that I decided it was a great idea to take a holiday. All whilst knowing that with some of my ongoing contracts, I don’t actually get a ‘real’ holiday.

But guess what he told me and what I’m now telling you?

It’s ok to say no!

It’s not easy for me to say that or to accept that, but it’s so true.

Instead of sitting here and appreciating the fact that I am in Barcelona with my beautiful (very irritating at times) little girl. I am stressing about my workload and yet still adding more to it.

It’s ok to say no to things. It’s ok to say no to events that you can’t attend. It’s ok to say no to meeting a friend because you have a deadline. It’s ok to say no to opportunities. It’s just ok to say no.

Take Time Out

It’s times when you feel overwhelmed and overloaded, that you need to take a step back and work out what you really want from your situation. Take a breather. Sit for five minutes in silence. Away from technology. Maybe with just a pen and paper.

Think about what you really want in your life. What do you want it to be like? What do you want your work to be like? Your friendships to be like? Your family life to be like?

It’s ok to say no to things. It’s ok if you don’t have time. It’s ok if your dream takes a little bit longer to reach.

It’s also ok to say no to the people around you. To your friends. To your family. To your children.

So long as you keep nurturing your relationships, it’s ok to sometimes say no.

In this day and age we’re pulled in so many directions it can be so hard to keep up. It’s so hard to keep up with the speed of social media, with technology, with life.

Will Saying No Help You?

Whether you’re building your dream, juggling a family, or whatever your situation…yes certain opportunities might not come up again. You might even suffer from a serious bout of FOMO (fear of missing out), but prioritising everything is important.

Do you need to say yes to that? Will it benefit you? Will it really benefit your life? Will it help your situation? Or hinder it?

We are all trying to juggle, everyday and it can be really hard.

But sometimes, it’s ok to say no.

Now I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine, go back to my notebook and start saying no to some of these opportunities, so that I can enjoy my holiday a little bit more.

It’s also ok to say yes.

Do you ever struggle to say no? Be it to work opportunities, friends, or family? Let us know in the comments below

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12 Comments

  1. October 20, 2016 / 1:46 pm

    I agree with everything you wrote here. I think it’s hard for women especially to say no because we feel like we have to fix everything. But saying no actually makes us better because we have more time to focus on things that matter.

  2. October 20, 2016 / 9:54 pm

    I have a really hard time with this – especially at work. I am to please and often I find myself completely overwhelmed. Thank you for this reminder!

  3. October 20, 2016 / 10:32 pm

    It is so good to visit this super regularly. I think if not checked it goes to saying yes way too much. I do find as I get older I say no more and more. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. October 20, 2016 / 10:33 pm

    I didn’t use to say no, but now it is easier. I feel like my health and well-being are more important than anything else.

  5. October 23, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    Sometimes I’m tempted to say no but it’s out of sheer laziness! But I rarely succumb to the temptation and I get on with it. It’s rewarding in a way to know that I didn’t sit on my arse. The satisfaction, as they say, is in a job well done!

  6. October 23, 2016 / 4:42 pm

    Really interesting post this! I think sometimes it can work the other way there you end up in a rut of saying ‘no’ to anything new when it comes to work (especially freelance type work) because of fear of having to do something new lol

  7. October 23, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    It is okay to say No and it can be one of the hardest words to ever say x

  8. October 23, 2016 / 10:18 pm

    This is so me!! Like this week for instance, we go away on holiday together and one blog post turned into eight, and instead of saying no I just worked myself to the ground this weekend. Same with the kids really though, when I’m poorly or tired I still take them to the park or out for the day, I just can’t say no!

  9. October 24, 2016 / 6:00 am

    I really struggle to say no, although I am getting better at it as I get older

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