Evie turns three next month. Three. It doesn’t seem like a big age, but I think every parent must experience those moments when they suddenly get scared that their child is growing.
When they’re newborn you’re so eager for the firsts. You can’t wait for the first smile, the first crawl, the first word, the first walk. You’re wrapped up in this bubble of excitement, willing for your child to grow. Then they suddenly hit an age that makes you stop and go;
Where did that time go?
It might be two when they’re starting to potty train, or three when you’re thinking about pre-school or even four when they’re starting school.
I’ve been watching Evie a lot lately and taking note. Watching how she explores when we’re outside, how tall she is next to other children, how inquisitive she is with her 100’s of questions an hour.
I just can’t get over time and how quickly it goes. While I type this now my daughter is sat next to me trying to form letters with a pen. This is the same girl who not so long ago just scribbled and scrawled badly. Now she’s writing her name.
Bedtimes used to be a time where I’d read her a story. Now she’s taking control, grabbing the book, trying to trace the words and read it herself.
She takes herself to the toilet, telling me she wants to do it by herself. She wants to clean her teeth alone, she tries so hard to make breakfast herself, to put her own socks on and shoes on.
When did she become so un-reliant on me?
I’ve always relished her being independent. Encouraged it. Willed for it. I want her to be the best person she can be. I want her to be able to fend for herself and grow up with the ability to look after herself. But at the same time I really want to wrap her up. To baby her. To look after her.
They don’t tell you before you have children how emotional of a journey it is. No one says to hold on tight to those baby years because they’ll soon be gone. They don’t tell you to relish the firsts but to also hold onto the innocence and dependancy that they have on to you.
For now I’m going to hold on tight to the everyday ‘ordinary’ moments that we have. The simple, innocent walks followed by delicious hot chocolates. All the little moments, like when she stops and asks to help me take pictures (note the one above) or to help her write words in the sand.
I’m going to hold on to the tantrums, the cuddles, the moments in the car when she sings along to songs or tells me about her day.
I’m also going to make the most of the times when she asks me for help. I want to take every opportunity to do things for her before she no longer needs me. Every time she pulls out her step, so she can reach things by herself, I both feel proud and sad.
Next month Evie will blow out three candles on her cake. While her birthday wish will probably be for all things Peppa Pig, I know what my wish will be. Slow down and stop growing up so quickly.
How do you feel about your little ones growing up? Let me know in the comments below.