I’ve always loved singing. I sang in shows as a child but didn’t carry on past my teenage years. I don’t know what happened really, it just fell away. I still sang in the kitchen, loudly and badly, but that was the extent of it.
Then, earlier this year, after being little else than ‘Mum’ for as long as I can remember, I decided I needed to start doing something for myself again. I saw a notification on a local Facebook group, and did something that felt wildly brave and slightly ridiculous: I joined a choir.
I didn’t know a single person there, I hadn’t sung properly since I was 16, and I had no idea how to read music (I still don’t), but I went for it. I rocked up on a Tuesday evening clutching a bottle of water and half expecting Simon Cowell to berate me for having the audacity to be there.
What I found, was pure joy. By the end of it, I was grinning my little face off.
Singing is Scientifically Proven to Make You Happy
There is actual science behind how good singing makes you feel.
Singing, especially singing with other people, triggers ‘happy hormones’ and neurochemicals like endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine. So when I walk out of rehearsals feeling lighter and happier, I’m not imagining it.
Then there was this study that showed choir members’ heart rate variability synchronises when they sing together. How cool is that? And also a bit weird. But mostly really cool. Basically, your bodies all settle into the same rhythm – literally becoming one with the music.
You breath differently when you sing too. You take great big lung fulls of air and control the way you breath out to sustain notes for longer. You really engage your diaphragm in a way that most people don’t when they are talking. It’s active but it’s calming, it takes away stress, and it focusses your mind.
I don’t need the studies to know that all this stuff is true, but it’s interesting to see my natural instincts backed up by science! 🔬
Finding New Friends
I didn’t join a choir to make friends, but it’s a natural part of singing as a group. You can’t not get to know the people you are singing with.
You help each other with harmonies, you share sheet music, you laugh together when it sounds awful – and it usually sounds pretty awful before it starts sounding right 😂🎶. You might even end up singing a solo part, and everyone will give you so much praise and support afterwards.
Being in a choir is like being inside a hug. It’s such a joyous, supportive, and expressive atmosphere. For that hour or two, everyone lets themselves go – you have to if you’re going to sing your lungs out with 30 other people. When you are part of a group of people doing something like that, where you all have the same aim and are working together to achieve it, you bond.
There are tea breaks too of course where you all get chatting, and inevitably someone will have a birthday and invite everyone for a drink. You know how it goes. If you turn up and are open with everyone, you’re going to make friends. It’s inevitable.
Rediscovering Myself Again
This was the point of joining a choir for me. It was something I wanted to do for no other reason than because I thought I might enjoy it. I wasn’t considering how my kids would feel about it, or how my partner would feel about it, just how I felt about it.
If you’re a parent you will already know that doing something just for you is incredibly rare.
When I am at choir, I’m just me. Just Millie Smithy. My real adult self with no parental veneer and no work mask. I’m also an older version of that 16 year old girl who sang “Memory” from Cats in a local am dram show and loved every second of it.
Those weekly rehearsals are a little bubble of freedom, where no one needs me to make sure their uniform is washed or wants a snack. I’m focussed on the music and the people around me. It’s unifying for the group, but it’s incredibly restorative for the individual. It is if that individual is me, anyway!
I guess it reminded me how stimulating it is to try new things and meet new people, to widen my world and expand my circle. So if you have ever thought about joining a choir but been too scared or too distracted to go, I say do it. You don’t even have to be a good singer, you are just one voice in a group of many. So grab a bottle of water for company, and just turn up. Choirs are a wonderful way to rediscover yourself and disappear into the music of life.