Do you remember how exciting it was to open your birthday presents as a kid? Every box held so much promise. It could have been anything under that wrapping paper.
Do you ever feel like that anymore? I don’t. As we get older, we kind of know what the gift options are, so it’s difficult to genuinely surprise and delight someone with a present. This is why experience based birthdays gifts are so popular.
Well me and my friends have come up with another way to make birthdays a bit more interesting now that we are adults. Instead of buying smaller individual gifts, we club together and buy one big gift from all of us.
I absolutely love this idea. My friend Ami came up with it, and she does likes to remind us of it, so here you go Ami, I know you read these so here is your official public credit 👋😂
There are a few reasons this idea works so well: it’s more fun for the gifters and the giftee, the gifts are much better, and it reduces present buying stress. So here’s how we do it, and why I think it could work for you too.
The Problem With Normal Birthday Gifts
Normal birthday gifts have their place. Of course they do. Group gifting only really works among people who know each other well. So I’m not anti individual birthday gifts.
However, among close friends, they get a bit… forgettable? Samey? I’m not sure what the right word is here, but they are rarely spectacular.
You don’t want to get something too small or basic because you love the person you are buying for and you want them to know that. But equally, you can’t go and spend £300 on something amazing because you have kids and a mortgage to pay.
And it would be weird.
So the birthday girl ends up with lots of presents that fall into a sort of middle ground. Nice bathroom sets, spa vouchers, a bit of jewellery. It’s all lovely, but it’s nothing they haven’t seen before. The recipient will be grateful of course, but it’s hard for them to feel wowed.
The gift buyer doesn’t feel great about their gift either. They spend ages trying to find something original or a bit special that falls within a sensible budget, but in the end, have to settle for something middle of the road. Lots of effort, average impact.
When five or six people pool their resources though, the options really open up.
Why Group Gifting Works
Imagine a group of five people clubbing together and buying a birthday present for a sixth person. They are all happy to spend £30, so that’s £150 available for a gift. The difference between what you can get for £30 and what you can get for £150 is massive!
If each person can put in more, you start entering really exciting territory.
Plus, because you are working together to come up with present ideas and have a very healthy budget, it actually becomes quite fun rather than stressful.
The birthday girl or boy will have a genuine surprise when they open whatever it is you choose for them, it will probably be the most expensive gift they get, and once the group gift becomes established the anticipation is genuinely exciting. It is for me anyway. I know my girls are going to be blowing a few hundred quid on me and I look forward to it every year.
Flowers and scented candles from the kids are lovely, but a new Kate Spade shoulder bag in balsam green is even better 🤩
This idea doesn’t have to be used in a friendship group by the way. You could do it for family presents too, at work among colleagues, even among parents whose kids always go to each other’s parties. Group gifts can work anywhere there are three or more people who regularly buy gifts for each other but want the gift to make more of an impact.
How Our Group Gifting System Works
It’s a very sophisticated system ðŸ¤
We set up a Whatsapp group for each person’s birthday and come back to it each year. It’s the same friendship group so the people never need to change. We also agree a budget per person, which is usually the same for a few years then creeps up a bit.
We also have someone who takes the lead in each group. There are six of us in this group, so here’s how we do it:
| Birthday Girl | Gift Organised By |
|---|---|
| Ami | Millie |
| Millie | Sophie |
| Sophie | Chloe |
| Chloe | Hannah |
| Hannah | Lauren |
| Lauren | Ami |
The whole group throws in ideas or comes up with ingenious ways to probe the birthday girl for things they might like without them realising what’s going on. However, the group lead is the one who actually organises everything and buys the gift.
It’s as simple as that.
The present buyer then splits the bill and tells everyone how much they owe, we all send the money right away (because we are nice friends who don’t make people chase us for money), and it’s done.
One happy birthday girl, five happy friends of the birthday girl.
Where it Might Get Awkward
The one thing I would say here, is that buying group gifts only works if you know and trust the people in the group. It works well for my lot because we have been friends since forever, and the people involved are the same each year. We all know the score so it’s a familiar routine for us now.
If you set something up with people you aren’t sure about, you might start having disagreements about budgets or the gift you are going to buy, or if someone takes ages to pay their share it could quickly stop being fun and cause arguments.
The best way to avoid this is to be upfront about how it will work from the beginning, and keep things simple. That’s why ours worked:
- one person takes charge
- everyone agrees the budget upfront
- everyone pays quickly
We have never had a drama – and that’s saying something with us lot 😂
Keep the group tight and the expectations clear, and group gifting should work as well for you and yours as it does for me and mine.