We had the obligatory New Year’s clear out recently, and one of the items we were getting rid of was our old BabyBjörn bouncer. We aren’t having any more kids and it was just taking up space, but it still has value, so it was an obvious target to be sold.
Excellent condition, clean, no damage, no stains, a great buy for a bargain hunting Mum to be.
Regular readers will know that Vinted is my platform of choice when it comes to selling my old stuff, but for the baby bouncer, it wasn’t going to work. The item was too big to ship cost effectively, so it was easier to sell local.
That meant one thing: Facebook Marketplace.
Those words fill me with dread, and this latest experience reminded me why. Facebook Marketplace buyers are the worst. Illiterate, incapable of reading the 3 sentence listing, incapable of sticking to any part of any plan we make with regards to collection – what is wrong with these people!?
This is going to be a bit of a rant, sorry, but also not sorry, because I know most of you will have been through this frustration fest yourselves and can relate.
The Listing
I took three good photographs of my baby bouncer, trying to be as helpful as possible in terms of angles and lighting, then uploaded them to Facebook Marketplace with the following description:
BabyBjörn Bouncer – Excellent Condition
BabyBjörn bouncer in grey. Excellent condition, all stitching still perfect, no marks or stains. Material has been properly washed.
3 different height settings and it folds flat for easy storage. The material comes off the frame so it can be washed in the washing machine. From a smoke and pet free home.
Retail price was over £150, asking £50.
This is word for word what the listing said.
Now, let me take you through some of the enquiries I got:
- “Available bro?” – I mean, my Facebook name is Millie so…
- “Hi where is this please?” – The location is on every marketplace listing. Unless you mean where in my house? In that case, it’s tucked behind the table in my dining room.
- “£20” – Ok, first of all, rude, and second of all, your negotiation skills need work.
- “It not damage?” – No it not ‘damage’, it bouncer.
I knew I was selling something people would want, so I completely ignored any messages like this. Facebook Marketplace is full of people who mess you about at the best of times, and these kinds of openers are always a red flag. I’m not giving out my address to someone who can’t even write a 3 word sentence.
Call me judgemental if you like, I stand by it.
I got some sensible sounding potential buyers too, but on Facebook Marketplace, even they can turn out to be a pain in the backside.
The Buyers
In the first 24 hours after listing the bouncer (on Friday), I had people get in touch that sounded trustworthy. I checked their profiles out and felt ok about giving them my address, so I replied.
The first person sounded lovely. Let’s call her Smiley Sally. When I confirmed the bouncer was still available, Sally literally wrote:
“Yay! That’s great!”
We then had a bit of back and forth about when she wanted to pick it up, and she said she would send her husband on Saturday at 2pm. I had already received other enquiries asking to pick up earlier, but I foolishly said I would hold it for Smiley Sally.
Saturday came and I got a message saying her husband couldn’t make it and she would come instead on Sunday around 12.00, but would confirm an exact time in the morning.
At 11.00am I had heard nothing, so asked if she still planned to come and collect. Only then did she let me know she wasn’t coming after all:
“Hi, so sorry!!! I had a rough night with the little one and had no sleep. I won’t be able to make it for 12. I think I’ll give it a miss as it’s actually too stressful as it’s a bit of a distance for me. Sorry for any inconvenience caused and thanks for keeping it for me.”
Oh Sally. Why did I trust you? I think it was the “Yay!”. I know better than to hold things back for people, but I’m nice, so I broke my own rule about selling to the first sane sounding person who can collect.
I didn’t reply (so that she knew I was absolutely fuming), and let the other two interested parties know that the buyer had cancelled and the bouncer was available again.
I got the following replies:
- “That is excellent news. I will confer with my husband about when to collect and be back in touch shortly.”
- “I can collect today! What’s the address?”
I replied to both of them, but in the meantime someone else enquired and offered to pay via bank transfer to secure the sale, so I sold it to them instead. I had learned my lesson, and it was the right move too: the formal sounding lady never got back to me at all, and after giving my address to the second person they went quiet too.
Honestly, you can never trust Facebook Marketplace buyers.
Tips for Selling on Marketplace
Despite making a rookie error with Smiley Sally, I do actually know what I’m doing with Facebook Marketplace. I’ve been selling stuff on there since it first existed, so I have experienced the lot.
Generally, I only use it for big, bulky items that are difficult to post, or items that are a bit more expensive but hard to steal (a chair or a washing machine rather than a phone, for example).
Here are some tips you should absolutely follow:
- Always sell to the person who can collect soonest, so long as they don’t sound insane or incomprehensible. It’s mercenary, but you will have your time wasted otherwise. This is the number one rule.
- Don’t be afraid to ignore messages. Some people don’t deserve a response. Trust your gut and look for red flags.
- Don’t tell potential buyers the item is sold until the money is in your hand, even if someone is apparently “on their way”. Keep the buyers lined up in case the current buyer falls through.
- Always check the buyer’s profile. If they are new on Facebook be cautious, if they are listed as living in another country be cautious, if they don’t have any photos of themselves, be cautious.
- Don’t give out your address until the price has been confirmed and you are as sure as you can be that they are going to show up. Give a postcode so they can check the journey, but keep your full address to yourself until the final stage.
Now obviously, it depends what you are selling. If it’s something in high demand you have the luxury of being picky with your buyers. If it’s something you are struggling to sell you might have to engage with people you would otherwise ignore.
Basically, if anyone gives you the slightest inkling they are going to be annoying, bin them off!