This is a nightmare, isn’t it?
I ended up in this exact situation this year thanks to a school mums’ WhatsApp group that decided to do a Secret Santa. Someone very lovely suggested it, and you can’t be the one to say no, can you? So I went along with it.
Then she suggested a £40 limit. Forty pounds! I was fuming, but I had already agreed. And obviously I was given someone I don’t know very well. So now I had to spend forty quid on a person who was little more than a stranger.
Anyway, I didn’t know what to buy for her and all the articles I found were suggesting boring and obvious things like biscuits and wine… so I decided to write something better. I’m pretty good at gifting (and re-gifting 🤭), and after giving it a bit of thought, I realised there are lots of good gift options for people you don’t know that well.
I’ve broken it into categories and given some examples, so feel free to steal them, but use this as inspiration as much as anything else.
High Quality Versions of Everyday Essentials
This is a go-to idea for me.
Everyday items might sound a bit dull at first, but think about what you do when you need a new diary, or bottle opener, or phone case: you go passable but cheap, right?
These are the sorts of things you never spend more than necessary on, but it’s nice to have a slightly special version.
Examples include:
- A beautiful and well made notebook or planner with quality paper
- A stylish, durable water bottle or travel mug
- A compact umbrella that is actually capable of dealing with wind and rain
These sorts of gifts work because they are useful, everyone needs them, and better than average versions don’t tend to cost the earth.
Low Commitment Comfort and Beauty Items
These can work well if you don’t try and get too clever.
The key is not to stray into territory that assumes someone’s style or preferences. Stick to safe products within the category, and again, buy better than average versions of them.
Things like:
- A high quality eye mask for sleep or travel
- A posh hot water bottle
- A soft cosy throw in a neutral tone
You can’t go down this route for everyone, but for a school Mums Whatsapp group it’s a great category! They feel thoughtful without being too intimate and don’t rely on taste.
Desk Friendly Work Based Gifts
A category for the colleagues for sure, but not limited to them.
You should know enough about the people you work with to understand what their jobs involve and what they might find useful or even enjoy using on a day to day basis.
Think about things like:
- A sophisticated desk toy (small, metal and heavy)
- A minimalist desk organiser
- A simple yet stylish paperweight
These things are appropriate, practical, not intrusive, and avoid any sense of awkwardness while also not feeling like a cop out. Just steer clear of anything jokey or novelty.
Useful Items That Remove Everyday Frictions
Something that quietly makes life that little bit easier, or that can make something useful or necessary feel a bit special are real winners.
These aren’t things that you would think count as gifts, but that’s exactly why they work in this context.
I mean things like:
- Long matches in a decorative jar or well designed box
- A nice stoneware or ceramic catch all dish for keys or coins or anything small
- A solid trivet or pan rest for the kitchen counter
Do you see what I mean? These are things that help in day to day life but you are making them feel more purposeful.
You are essentially taking fairly mundane items around the house and giving them ‘gift energy’. They don’t assume someone’s taste either, which is important.
What to Avoid
Knowing what to avoid is arguably more important than knowing what to buy.
- Humour based gifts of any kind – just don’t do it
- Clothing, jewellery, or accessories – you don’t know this person well enough for that
- Anything scented – again, you don’t know what they like or if they have allergies 😂🤧
- Anything personalised or monogrammed – way too intimate
- Anything that makes a comment on lifestyle, habits, or health. You don’t want to risk offending
Basically you want to avoid anything that relies on knowing someone’s style or personality. Just because you think it’s cute/funny/tasteful, doesn’t mean someone else will.
Don’t Overthink It
When you don’t know someone that well and you need to buy them a gift, the goal is actually very simple: choose something safe.
Where it gets more difficult is finding something safe but not boring. The ideal situation is to find something that feels quietly thoughtful and genuinely useful or useable. That means avoiding the obvious and passing on gimmicks.
So don’t overthink it. Stick to these basic guidelines and use any snippets of information you might have for a general direction, and go from there.
At the end of the day, if they don’t like whatever you get them it doesn’t matter all that much anyway. You hardly know them, right? So who cares! 😂